"Hey, what are you thinking?", asked one of my friends. I managed to say that I was thinking how to complete my project. Lied. Again. The truth is I am in some unknown world, thinking something anonymous which is highly effecting me. May be causing extreme sorrow, hidden and unseen.
I don't know what it is. The only thing I am aware of is, some unknown emotion is draining me from inside. Making me hopeless and helpless. I know this isn't normal. But again, I lied. This time to myself. That everything was normal.
Loneliness was accompanying me every day. Blankness was the only thing I had in mind. No one cared. May be I shouldn't too. But again, something from inside is torn. Some part and still it's continuing to tear me up. But again, who cared? Probably no one. And I shouldn't too.
I sat down on my desk. Thought of penning down what I feel. But again I was blank. Everything was blank. An inescapable maze of blankness. I see my nightmares as scary illusions, may be I should call them hallucinations. I am lost in space, all alone. I was wondering why I was lost. And then comes a helical loophole. It pushes me towards it like a black hole. Taking me to infinity. Infinity of blankness.
Again, someone jerked me all of a sudden, "Hey where are you lost?" Lying became my mask. This quagmire of emptiness and emotions I feel is something unexplainable. Again I lied, saying nothing. Again I didn't care.
My body isn't normal too. I was getting tired way too easily. Losing hair, puffed eyes, putting up on weight. I am all a different person now. I don't know why but it hits me as a bolt of lightning all of a sudden, making me extremely happy one day and throwing me down in to an ocean of sadness on another.
Hopelessness and helplessness were my companions on daily basis. Behind my every feigning smile, there was a draining emotion, unseen and unheard. I wished if someone could hear me unsaid. But again I didn't care. I don't know what I should call this.
All I know is, somewhere this soul wants to cry. And wants itself to be heard and seen. But again these carnal thoughts fighting upon all those emotions is devastating. People call this something else. They call it a mental illness creeping out of no where. I call it an illness of soul, which takes true empathy, love and care to heal. And deep down, my soul wishes to be healed, with same love and care. Without being judged and mocked.
I don't know what it is. The only thing I am aware of is, some unknown emotion is draining me from inside. Making me hopeless and helpless. I know this isn't normal. But again, I lied. This time to myself. That everything was normal.
Loneliness was accompanying me every day. Blankness was the only thing I had in mind. No one cared. May be I shouldn't too. But again, something from inside is torn. Some part and still it's continuing to tear me up. But again, who cared? Probably no one. And I shouldn't too.
I sat down on my desk. Thought of penning down what I feel. But again I was blank. Everything was blank. An inescapable maze of blankness. I see my nightmares as scary illusions, may be I should call them hallucinations. I am lost in space, all alone. I was wondering why I was lost. And then comes a helical loophole. It pushes me towards it like a black hole. Taking me to infinity. Infinity of blankness.
Again, someone jerked me all of a sudden, "Hey where are you lost?" Lying became my mask. This quagmire of emptiness and emotions I feel is something unexplainable. Again I lied, saying nothing. Again I didn't care.
My body isn't normal too. I was getting tired way too easily. Losing hair, puffed eyes, putting up on weight. I am all a different person now. I don't know why but it hits me as a bolt of lightning all of a sudden, making me extremely happy one day and throwing me down in to an ocean of sadness on another.
Hopelessness and helplessness were my companions on daily basis. Behind my every feigning smile, there was a draining emotion, unseen and unheard. I wished if someone could hear me unsaid. But again I didn't care. I don't know what I should call this.
All I know is, somewhere this soul wants to cry. And wants itself to be heard and seen. But again these carnal thoughts fighting upon all those emotions is devastating. People call this something else. They call it a mental illness creeping out of no where. I call it an illness of soul, which takes true empathy, love and care to heal. And deep down, my soul wishes to be healed, with same love and care. Without being judged and mocked.
